so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
