I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
