i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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