Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
