lets start a swedish sibling band together
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
