so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
