I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Randomize
