Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
