shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
