fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
