You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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