Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
