no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
