Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
