Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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