Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
