so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
