It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
