Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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