In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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