so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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