I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
