the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
