just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
