Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
