I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
