For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
