her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
