just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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