I want to make a zoo with you.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
