Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
