is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
