can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
