You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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