that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The best revenge is premature balding
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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