4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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