You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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