I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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