The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
