I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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