Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
