just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
