i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
