I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
