Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize