He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
