Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize