We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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