Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
