i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
