I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
