if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
