Someone shit on the floor
this just has baby written all over it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
