I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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