Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
