She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
