His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
