I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
