I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My penis needs a shock collar
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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