I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
