When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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