I have demons in me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
