Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we're making bets on your personal life
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize