If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
