life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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